How We Met – My Experience With Online Dating

So since it’s coming up to my one year anniversary with B, I’ve decided to talk a little bit about how we met as I know there’s still a lot of stigma and stereotype about Online Dating.

how-we-met

Sometime in 2015 I decided to sign up to a few dating sites, and see how it went. I had really bad anxiety, so actually going out to places where I would meet people my age was a huge no in my books.

I spoke to a few people, some were nice and some were… well, a little weird if I’m totally honest. Oh, I could tell you a few things!

Sometime around the end of November, I got a message from a guy who seemed really shy but who obviously made an effort to speak to me.This turned out to be B! We started talking quite regularly, and really got to know one another. After a month or two, we shared our numbers and started to talk on Whatsapp. We shared photos, both old and more recent. I think we were both kind of making sure that the other did actually exist and wasn’t a catfish type situation.

In early February 2016, we met in person for the first time. By this time we had spoken on the phone as well as text, and in fact B had shared a YouTube video in which he was interviewed. We were both super sure about meeting, and how well we would get on.

We had a few things happen in the beginning, which I’m sure would have put many others off continuing the relationship – a jealous ex, which some of you know about, for one – but we just clicked. If I was going to be all lovey-dovey, I’d say we were soul mates! There was – and still is – 100% trust between us, no matter what anyone has tried to do or say to cause problems.

So as you can see, online dating can’t be all bad if I could get something so good out of it just like so many others! 

My tips for Online Dating

I’m not calling myself a pro at online dating, but considering that all ended happily without any “Oh my God, what am I doing” moments, I think I can say that I successfully sailed the turbulent seas of Online Dating and reached a nice beach in Paradise. Here are some “rules” I followed, and I hope they help you too!

  1. Don’t share your number or too much personal info straight away. There’s two reasons for this tip; if they’re actually interested in a relationship they will wait for you to be comfortable sharing your details, and if you are talking to a catfish they will quickly get bored and disappear.
  2. Send pictures. Both of you should be able to send pictures, and personally I don’t believe the “I can’t, none of my cameras work” type of excuse. If that is the case, ask them to get a friend or even their mums phone and use that. In this day and age, no one is without access to a camera. B wasn’t able to upload more pictures to his dating profile but he still sent me pictures once we were talking on Whatsapp, so I’d suggest giving another option if that’s the case – even if you get them sent in an email.
  3. No small talk. First of all you’ll obviously start out with small talk, but once you’re happy you’re actually talking to a real person and as you both get to know each other more you’ll want to have deeper conversations. Really get to know each other, know your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, everything! After all, the aim of the game is to possibly have a long and loving relationship with this person!
    The more you get to know the person before meeting, the better. That way you can avoid all the awkwardness as much as possible! Please remember to be safe when meeting up with people though, even if you are 100% sure about someone!
  4. If it feels wrong at any point, stop. If you get a weird feeling, a bad feeling, are worried about anything, or something just doesn’t add up, DO NOT feel bad for stopping any friendship or relationship with the other person. You don’t owe anything to anyone you meet online – or in person – so don’t let anyone make you think that you do. Bad feelings are our brains and bodies way of warning us something is wrong. I’m pretty sure all dating sites have the option to block, and many have the option to report someone if necessary. You do not have to speak with anyone you don’t want to.

I really hope this post has helped you decide whether online dating is something you’d like to try or not, and maybe changed a few people’s minds about it. I know I used to say “I’ll never do that, it’s not safe!” but I’m now so glad I did otherwise I wouldn’t be with the wonderful person that I’m with.

Have you ever tried online dating? What did you think of it? Have you got any tips or advice for anyone else looking into online dating?

Thanks for dropping by!
Bella

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