Hey everyone, today’s post is a little different to what I normally post. I’ve seen way too much drama and nastiness online lately and think it needs addressing.
So for the last two months or so my feed has been full of people bitching or fighting and I think it’s time to say something about it. I’m obviously not saying everyone does this, the majority of people I follow stay out of fights and cliques but I’ve seen so much of it recently that it’s really disheartening.
I do mention a few things I have seen around Twitter in this post, but I do not mention names or social media handles because all that does is encourage a mob mentality and hate comments which really isn’t necessary. I’m not writing this post to or about anyone in particular, so please don’t feel you or anyone else is being targeted – but as the saying goes “If the shoe fits”.
Now that’s out of the way, I can carry on with this post.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine – I hate it when people are hypocritical. They sit there and condemn other people for what they are doing, yet do the exact same thing and claim it doesn’t apply to them.
One thing I have seen around recently, is various people complaining about bigger bloggers being condescending towards smaller bloggers – or anyone with fewer followers – or being a bit clique-y as if we were all 14 years old in school. These particular people are then doing exactly what they’re complaining about.
I agree that some bloggers can be like that – but that goes for anyone in any field – I personally haven’t found anyone to be like this and I don’t think it’s fair to taint everyone with the same brush. You can’t generalize thousands – maybe even millions – of people, especially when you only know of 1% of them.
Screenshots & Proof
When people end up in fights online – and I’m talking general here, not just in the blogging world – people take screenshots. It’s what we do. People share them with their friends or show their partner, which if it’s kept private by all means do whatever you want.
When it comes to sharing these screenshots or any other proof to your followers or fans, that’s a completely different thing. In cases like Twitter or anything else said in the public domain, yes it’s public and anyone can see it, but that still DOES NOT give you any right whatsoever to show that to your fans or followers and indirectly encourage a mob mentality. I don’t care that you “haven’t told anyone to hate on them”. You may not have said those words, but you are still encouraging your followers and fans, even friends, to attack that other person.
Playing the Victim
This kind of goes hand in hand with being hypocritical, but I think it deserves it’s own little mention.
If you are one of those people who sit on your twitter and bitch about EVERYTHING all day everyday, pick fights with people, are condescending, or make others feel stupid for their opinion, then when someone speaks up and calls you out on it – preferably in a nicer way, without being nasty or calling people names – then you have no reason to then turn around and say “oh they attacked me for no reason” or “someone just kicked off out of nowhere”.
I know it’s easy to read things in a different voice than what they were intended, I’ve done it myself and convinced myself people aren’t interested in talking to me when in fact that’s not the case at all. I’m sure we have all done it, it’s a misunderstanding.
What can’t be tolerated though is misunderstandings being turned into a huge fight over twitter that lasts for days sometimes even weeks. Funny enough, it tends to be the people who have caused the drama that won’t let it go.
How can we help stop or reduce unnecessary hate?
I’m not sure I get what you mean?
If someone sends a message to you that you might be giving a different meaning to – just ask. Tell them you’re not sure what they mean by what they said, instead of automatically assuming that they’re being nasty. It’s not hard to do, and I’ve personally done it a few times – and guess what? They weren’t being nasty at all. I think this is the reason so many problems arise online, and can be so easily avoided.
Block or Mute
I’ve had to block a few accounts unfortunately. Not because they were mean or nasty to me personally, but because they gave off a negative vibe and it would reach my feed on a daily basis.
I don’t want to go through 30 tweets about how someone didn’t give up their seat for you on the bus – yes it was rude but 40 other people had the same thing happen to them this morning too. I’m not saying that you shoulsn’t tweet about it – by all means tweet whatever you like – but 30 odd is just a bit much.
I don’t want to see a fight going back and forth and people calling others names and then being bitchy for the next week, being so direct you might as well bloody @ them.
There is nothing wrong with blocking people or muting them for a while, even if they haven’t directly affected you. I have anxiety, and seeing so many negative things on my social media sets it off. I manage to control it most days by simply coming off my social media, but why should I be the one to leave when I can remove the negativity? You shouldn’t feel like you have to take time away from your social media because of other people – it’s YOUR social media account and you control what you see and don’t see.
Respect others Opinions
You don’t have to respect the opinion, but respect the fact that they have one.
Everyone wants to be listened to right? If you’re voicing your opinion, you want the other person to actually listen – not just to respond either, but to understand you.
Understanding each others perspectives, and actually listening to understand their view or opinion, will not only help us to be more compassionate and considerate individuals but a more compassionate and considerate community – which I’m pleased to say a big chunk of bloggers are.
Be careful of how we word things
This refers back to how we read things also, but how we word things can have a huge impact on how what we mean is perceived. I’m all for being honest, I just don’t see the point in being fake or lying to look good or be liked, but there is a way to say things.
Instead of saying “Oh I hate it” maybe try “It’s not my style, but I’m sure someone else would appreciate it” or something along those lines. You’ve been honest and said you don’t like it, but you’ve also not upset that person for no reason. Again, you might not respect whatever it is but you should respect that someone has put the effort in and likes it enough to want to share it., just like you would expect if you shared something you liked.
Basically, just don’t be a dick. Nobody likes a dick.
What are your views on drama in the blogging community? Have you any tips? Please leave a comment down below with your thoughts 🙂